On #NationalComingOutDay what else could I reflect on? I've never felt "wrong" for being gay in the same way that I've never felt wrong for enjoying sex or camping. It was always just a part of me. The reason I emphasize my sexual identity is not because I think it's the most important thing about me, but because there's so much work to do to secure equal opportunity and prevent bullying, hate crimes, and the like. I feel that my own sexual identity is an opportunity to educate others and that it's be used as a conduit to progress our understanding of each other.
I fucking love being gay. I love gay culture just as much as I love gamer culture, hip hop culture, art culture, etc. It's all so special to me even if I don't engage in every part of each. I certainly don't subscribe to a shit ton of my gay culture, but over the years I've become friends with more gay people than I would have ever imagined. I think it's the power of the shared experience that connects us and I love genuinely hanging with "my people" for the first time. (Thanks San Francisco!)
I don't think I'll ever be able to divorce myself from the gay struggle, but at my core, I don't really think that being gay matters all the much. It's no different than any other unique cultural identifier. I feel that, if I had to choose, I would identify more closely with the sexuality of gayness than the cultural side of gayness. Those overlap a fair amount, but when it comes down to it, my gayness has faded from a personal experience to something I use for the benefits of others as I grow bored talking about "being gay."
Now in the present... Over time, I've begun to identify increasingly with gay culture. I'm not so sure that I love everything I said in this post and that, most of it likely relies on me conflating masculinity and femininity with sexuality.